How to Talk Dirty in Esperanto

Actually, there are lexicons of this sort in Esperanto, along with highbrow erotica and lowbrow porn. On this occasion, however, we will discuss how non-Esperantists have treated the prospect of "obscene" language in Esperanto.

I thought there was an article on Esperanto in Maledicta: The International Journal of Verbal Aggression, but the Maledicta web site doesn't mention anything. I could find only a couple references via Google Books.

(1) "Verbal Aggression, Not Esperanto, is the Universal Language," Behavior Today, 10: 40, 1979. This is a report on an interview with Reinhold Aman, the creator of Maledicta.

(2) Maledicta, Volume 9 (1988), p. 78:

Esperanto. Bonan vesperon, ĉambristino! Mi bedaŭras, mi havas sole B-03-n.
Good evening, chambermaid! I'm sorry, I have only a penile erection caused by a full bladder.

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Unfortunately, I long ago lost my copy, but there's this famous spoof:

"How to Talk Dirty in Esperanto," by Kichard Bonker and Henry Beard; illustrated by Bruce Cochran; National Lampoon, November 1972, Vol. 1, No. 32 (Decadence issue).

Apparently, this was a popular article, as it was anthologized in National Lampoon's Big Book of Love and The National Lampoon Treasury of Humor. I recall William Auld badmouthing it when I was a student of his in 1975, because the Esperanto was botched, thus not linguistically accurate. I only remember National Lampoon's translation of scumbag—venujo—literally, a container for come (as in "come here"), whereas the correct translation would be ĉurujo (container for cum).

Remininscences, comments, and examples, can be found in several places on the web. Here are a few references:

1. "Estas mia esprima desiro ke fulmo frapus vian pinon"

2. "PARDON ME, SIR, BUT COULD YOU DIRECT ME TO THE NEAREST HOSPITAL? MY PENIS HAS BEEN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING"

3. A discussion in which Ros' Haruo comments:

Problem was the NL article reinvented not only the wheel, but the rack and the Chinese water torture to boot. The most egregious mistranslation in the NL article was the constant use of "fuki" ("to rockweed") for "fiki" (the proper F word). The result, to one fluent in Esperanto, was as irritatingly ridiculous as would be an article on "how to talk dirty in English" that gave the seven unmentionables as "shet, piz, count, fick, cockseeker, matherfaqir, Tietz". Pity the poor isolated learner who tried to use the thing to learn the juicy stuff. (Admittedly, NL never did claim language-teaching credentials.)

4. Blog d'Elisson: A LANGUAGE OF OUR OWN, July 31, 2007:

Some thirty-odd years ago, the National Lampoon published an article on “How to Talk Dirty in Esperanto,” containing such useful phrases as, “My penis has been struck by lightning” (Mia peniso estas frapita de fulmo), and “Your genitals look like moldy spinach” (Viaj generaj organoj similas ŝiman spinaco). I don’t remember much about the article itself - it’s no doubt buried somewhere in my basement amongst all the piles of old magazines - but I do remember the Esperanto word for “balls”: pilkojn. Nice.

5. "Tongues of the World, Unite!: Esperanto is alive and kicking, but why hasn't la tuta mondo caught on?" by Alison Gillmor, Walrus, September 2006:

And slang thrives, especially on the Wild West frontier of the Internet, which du Temple sees as the biggest forum for Esperanto education and information in the last decade. Websites by college kids and creative wordsmiths attempt to give Esperanto a little street cred with such phrases as kiel zumas, (how's it buzzin'), neshvite (no sweat), or even fikighu (just in case you forget the interna ideo long enough to say "fuck you"). There is also an X-rated web update of National Lampoon's 1972 classic "How To Talk Dirty in Esperanto." It seems that being filthy is not only more fun in Esperanto, it also retains an adorable innocence, even when sample sentences involve randy Esperantists doing unspeakable things with their pizangoj (big plantains). Proof that this site is the work of sophisticated linguists can be seen in the fine distinction between the transitive and intransitive forms of "to sodomize."

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Finally, here is an introductory lesson in Esperanto with an authentic guide, How To Talk Dirty In Esperanto : Kiel Paroli Maldece en Esperanto, for all of your nasty needs. This is the stuff.